Moving on from a relationship is an emotionally challenging journey. After all, once you&rsquo;ve gotten used to someone&rsquo;s presence, it&rsquo;s going to be hard to look at the space they left. It feels as if grief itself stares at you through the empty chair, saying, &ldquo;They left this seat empty as a reminder that you&rsquo;ve lost them. There&rsquo;s no one else to fill this spot now.&rdquo;&nbsp;
How do you begin to recover from that kind of grief? How do you heal and move on from it?&nbsp;
People say that you must go through five stages before you can truly say that you have moved on. Although the stages are defined, healing remains neither linear nor uniform. Everyone experiences it differently, but understanding these stages can help us flow freely through it rather than feel trapped by it.
Stage 1: Denial
The first stage of moving on is denial. It&rsquo;s a defense mechanism that provides temporary emotional numbness when the pain feels too overwhelming to confront. Whether it's the sudden shock of a breakup or the heavy weight of a personal loss, denial acts as a buffer. We might convince ourselves that everything will go back to the way it was or that things aren&rsquo;t as bad as they seem. In this stage, we resist the reality of change.
Stage 2: Anger
Once the truth begins to sink in, anger often follows. As much as you want to stay calm, you can&rsquo;t stop the rage bubbling inside your chest. Anger is a cathartic emotion that thrives on intensity. You&rsquo;ll feel frustrated about the unfairness of the situation, and sometimes, you&rsquo;ll take it out on the world. &ldquo;Why me?&rdquo; becomes an internal dialogue.&nbsp;
Stage 3: Bargaining
The bargaining stage is an attempt to undo the breakup. You replay everything in your head, pinpointing every mistake that could have been avoided if given another chance. Iniisip mo na &ldquo;Baka kaya pa naman?&rdquo; &nbsp;Okay, sige, baka nga. O baka hindi na rin talaga. You&rsquo;ve got an inkling that it&rsquo;s already the latter, but you&rsquo;d still try and bargain for another shot at it.
Stage 4: Spiraling
When the bargaining stops and the reality of loss finally sinks in, most of us spiral. Sadness is often the stage we fear most because it involves facing the full weight of grief. Everything that ever happened to you hits twice as hard, and feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and exhaustion may become overwhelming. The difficulty peaks.
Stage 5: Acceptance
Then it stops. One day, you wake up and realize you&rsquo;re not thinking about it as often as before. Sluggish days and sleepless nights are over, and it dawns on you&ndash; you&rsquo;ve made peace with the situation. Acceptance is the point at which the emotional intensity starts to subside, and we start to reframe the loss. We no longer idealize the past or resist the present. Instead, we begin to find meaning in what we&rsquo;ve experienced.
&ldquo;It&rsquo;s okay. I&rsquo;m okay.&rdquo;
Once you can say that without the unusual heaviness in your chest, then you&rsquo;re set. Congratulations on moving on, Fam.